Tales From the Prison

Part I 

One day as The Duke was entering yard D, he did my usual antics but added a little twist to it as he was announcing Sunday morning service in the chapel over the loudspeaker, which pretty much hits about 700 to 1300 inmates along with all the  guards. Dukey said “Methacathapiscababitarian (Which pretty much means non-denominational) service is about to begin in the chapel. The duke of prunes will be the guest speaker today. Let’s go!” or something to that effect. The band plays for about the first half hour as he stands outside the chapel and try to coax people in with humor and Prison dollar bills. Dukey usually says something like, “A dollar will get you to heaven and I am pitching on the mound today.” After the band finished and he was heading up to the pulpit with his patriot logo Bible held high, which they usually hate because most of them are Traider fans. There was something about this morning that was a little different. Before Dukey started the normal routine of prayer prior to speaking, so he can get himself out of the way and let the Holy Spirit work( Mat 10:20 and Prov 18:2 ) this big guy upfront said, “The Duke of prunes huh?'“ Dukey answered, “That is correct and there is no way you know who the duke of prunes is”. He quickly answered back, “How about Frank Zappa.” Dukeys jaw dropped a few feet, and he said, “How the heck would you know that?” Come to find out his brother played in the band. Go figure. 

About 20 minutes into my message Ed looked up and said you better get ready. Dukey said, “For what?” Dukey guesses Ed could hear the alarm go off and he couldn’t. All of the sudden about 3 to 5 guards came barging into the chapel and told everybody to hit the floor. One of them said “are you OK Duke?” “I am fine” Duke replied. turned out somebody’s alarm went off in their pocket and it wasn’t Dukey’s. They had to shut down the whole yard, so he calmly just went home and whipped up a huge lunch which he usually does after Sunday service. 

Part II

ROGER and Dukey were coming out of the E yard once when suddenly the guards told everybody to get to the ground. ROGER was 340 years old at the time, and Dukey was only in his 50s. The guards told them to keep moving as they closed down the yard. To this day Dukey’s not sure why they did so. Some pretty crazy things happen on the inside.