East German Checkpoint 1978

It was the summer of 1978 right after Dukey had graduated from Northeastern University. It was Glue, Mike, Leboeuf and Dukey ready for a tour of Europe. Glue and Mike flew over two days before Dukey and Leboeuf. The Fab Four met up in Amsterdam and started the journey south in a Rent-A-Car. After a few days the obnoxious Bostonians ended up on the beaches of southern France. Making their way east from Marseille through Cannes, Nice and other assorted cities they found themselves in Monaco at the Monte Carlo Casino only to be kicked out in less than a half hour. To this day Dukey cannot remember why. But he does remember the boys using a hose on the left side of the entrance to rinse off because they hadn’t showered in a couple days. That didn’t make the locals very happy either and they were chased off.

The foursome continued their tour through Italy and ended up in Venice to make more noise. click. Italy is kind of a blur for a The Duke but he does remember heading towards Innsbruck Austria with a case of beer in the middle of the backseat and some kind of Italian liqueur. They wanted to see Innsbruck but missed the exit. With Dukey at the wheel they cut across the median only to be caught by Austrian police. When the officer came to the window Duke started saying pretty loudly the name Franz Klammer Franz Klammer. We missed the exit and we’re trying to find where the famous run was for the 1976 Olympics. The officer got so excited about that he led them right to the base of the mountain and forgave them for cutting across the median. After a night of stupid they headed on towards Munich and Berlin. Munich was not pretty. Way too much beer. Those places were crazy big rooms with way too many people and music.

Dukey cannot remember if they stayed there but they moved forward towards Berlin. President Carter was supposed to be speaking there. After going through so many checkpoints in Europe before they didn’t realize that west of West Berlin was East Germany. The east Berlin checkpoint was not so kind to them. Four security guards armed with machine guns told Dukey to get out of the car. He was not talking his way out of this one. He was asking if they had a basketball so he could prove he was not drinking but he almost blew up the breathalyzer. One of the guys spoke pretty good English and was trying to get them to turn back towards West Germany but the other three could not pass the breathalyzers either. After the four were brought into the checkpoint office, a big guy who looked like Sergeant Schultz from hogans heroes was not happy with them. Glue asked for a pen and paper and started writing a letter. Dear President Carter these commie bastards are hassling us at the border. The guard who spoke good English started laughing but Schultz did not. They were all kicked out of the office and put back in the car without the keys. Glue threw up outside his car door and they brought a mop and told him to clean it up. Dukey thinks Mike actually cleaned it up being relatively sober. After a couple hours two Green Beret Jeeps pulled in. One in front of the Rent-A-Car and one behind. They had a Green Beret driver for the four idiots and they were escorted back across into West Germany. They were sobering up now when the two Jeeps left them and told them to go down this road through the woods and find a place to sleep on the ground. They ended up under some bridge God knows where. Click

A day or two later they showered at one of the World War II barracks and proceeded to a beer fest. Like all the other scenes that didn’t turn out well either. The Duke ended up on stage singing five to one by the doors. The MPs had to grab them and get them off the stage. The next thing Duke remembers is sitting in the backseat with Leboeuf, on his lap and Mike driving. They did not make their flight in Amsterdam and took a few days to get out of there. Dopes!!!