Recipe for Beach Madness:

Move Crazy Eastern Friends to West

Moving to L.A. on April 4, 1979, ignited the fireworks. Landing at Aunty Doris’shouse in Tustin, California, was the move of a lifetime. Here was Dukey in Southern California ready to play and nobody to play with ... YET!

In the first few months Dukey just drove around in Kermit, his avocado green ’73 Chevy Vega. Up and down the coast from Pismo to San Diego with the sun shining in his face was just a little different than the Leningrad weather he was used to in Boston. (He just loved the change of seasons ... NOT!)

He had been saying since he moved to the Left Coast that the best time in New England is estimated from late September to early October with all the falliage — as he called it. Otherwise, it’s no taxation without representation — go see Fenway, Foxboro or the Gaaaarden and git Thee out of town.

Coming from low income housing in the projects of 201 Constitution Avenue, Revere, Massachusetts, he remembered a house converted from a barn in Danvers, a high school in Shrewsbury and now the beaches of Southern California. The memories put him in state of shock and awe! He had just a few hundred dollars after paying for Kermit, the green cruising machine, so he started loading the freight high and tight on the truck docks, which was how he paid his way to LA LA Land in the first place.

Auntie, who lived in Tustin, was an alcoholic and living was getting a little crazy at her house. Dukey had heard that Ricky Citroni, an old friend from Danvers, was living in Hermosa Beach. Upon arriving at the beach house, Dukey learned Ricky was back east and wasn’t moving out west for a couple weeks. So it was back to the docks in Orange County and nights in the back of the Vega or couches or floors of people Dukey met.

Dukey woke up one morning with the 22 freeway running next to his head just off the ramp in some apartment complex. He heard Ricky was back, so it was time to go north to Hermosa. He had the address where Ricky was supposed to be just off the beach at 14th Street.

The door opened and Gary Buckly (Buck) shouts, “Caaaamady!” Buck was old Little League friend Dukey hadn’t seen since 1969. (You have to remember Dukey moved from Danvers to Shrewsbury in ’69.) Others in the room also knew Dukey and his brother, too. The show began!

Ricky, no longer living in the beach house, moved in with Fatty 5’11”, 290 pounds and Dicky, two New Yorkers, who Dukey was sure anyone would find slightly amusing. For instance, nasty cheapo 5’6” Dicky hid the last night’s lasagna in the back lower shelf of the fridge. Fatty comes home first and sees it hidden, so proceeds to eat half of it before removing his sock and mixing it in with the rest.

Dicky comes home and the gang is sitting around the table while he nukes lasagna- sock and proceeds to eat it. Of course, on the second bite there is Fatty’s smelly disgusting sock. Blaaaahh! A later chapter will describe more of this insanity.

Meanwhile, back to Ricky moving in, Ricky came to the West Coast with Danvers buddy Frenchy Leblanc! The three crusty idiots — Dukey, Ricky and Frenchy — slept in Ricky’s putrid room. Dukey on the floor next to Ricky’s rifle on one side of the bed and Frenchy on the other side. (Hey, Mo! Hey, Larry!) This arrangement went on for about a month until Dukey got a job selling fishbowl AMC Pacers and Toyota’s.

Frenchy and Dukey ended up getting a place on Sixth Street in Hermosa Beach about a block and a half from the ocean (more trouble!). Fatty comes down to buy a car for work. He watched Dukey’s sales rap and ended up hiring him. (More Trouble now about to be on a real large scale because here comes money — Johnny Ca$h, The Pillsbury Dough Boy, The Eddie Money, Robert DiNiro.)

Being a bachelor and owning your own Townhouse on South Bay beaches of L.A. in your 20s can be one heck of a show. Even crazier is being able to work from there. Waking up every day and dialing for dollars while looking out over the ocean was a beyond mainstream life. Months would go by when Dukey rarely left the beach. Rollerblades, bikes and other moving gadgets were the means of transportation.

They had their own Boston softball team, which consisted of pretty much all back east players. They were Kelly’s Heroes, a name taken not only from the movie, but also from the owner of the electronics firm in Farmingdale, New York, which supported them. The madness didn’t end anytime soon.