From NBA to Golf 

Auerbach to Watson 

2:45 a.m. Sunday, June 20, 1982. Eight morons were gathered in a hotel room at Pebble Beach for the final day of the U.S. Open. Waiting is boring, so Dukey grabs the phone knowing the NBA owners are meeting in one of the Marriots in San Diego. 

Dukey knows Marriot had a contract with the NBA because that’s where the morons would go in L.A. to meet the players [CLICK TO SEE PICS]. Red and most of the players knew Dukey as The Duke of Prunes1 from either meeting him or getting paperwork from the now widely used invention fax machine. 

“Red Auerbach, please.” Everybody knows the Celtics’ legendary coach, who advanced to front office executive. 

“Certainly.” Back in those days it was legal for a hotel desk to transfer calls to any desired room. “Hello?” a sleepy female replied. 

“Hello, is Red there?” 

“No, this is his daughter. He’s in Room (blah, blah, blah).” 

“Sorry to wake you.” The fool hangs up and calls the Marriott again to reach Red’s room. He knew now he struck the right Marriott on his first try. 

“Hello?” 

“Red, it’s the Duke of Prunes.” 

“Are you sh-----g me? It’s 3 in the morning. “

“Don’t hang up! Don’t hang up! We need DJ (Dennis Johnson of the Phoenix Suns) to 

cover Magic. 

“Don’t ever call me again,” and the phone slammed down. They’d met before several times but this was the last straw. No more calls, hand shakes or faxes from Prunes. He had no idea if that call had any significance to the next year’s trade, but it happened. The Suns’ DJ was traded to Boston for the Celtics’ Ricky Robey! Flash forward!! In the 1984 series Boston lost the first game in the NBA finals at home. Game 2 should have been another loss, but Gerald Henderson stole the ball in one of the most famous steals of all time along with Larry Bird’s and John Havlicek’s. Game 3 was in L.A. where Prunes resided. He knew the Lakers well from having company season tickets. The Lakers blew out the Celtics, so the Duke called Celtics Coach KC Jones at the hotel and told him to put DJ on Magic. The call came from Dukey’s desk at work, and there were a bunch of co-workers listening. Dukey got right to the point. “Why is Gerald defending Magic rather then DJ. DJ has long arms, and he can defend Magic better.” 

KC responded, ‘Magic has long arms too!” 

“But Gerald (Henderson who made the crucial steal) doesn’t!” They talked for another minute and then met again back at the hotel after Game 4. [CLICK HERE] Again Dukey had no idea if his advice to KC had anything to do with it, but about five to seven minutes into Game 4 DJ was covering Magic! The Celts went on to win in seven. If you watch the end there is one fool who faces the camera when all the fans storm the Boston floor. You can see the Duke of Prunes jumping up and down! (CLICK HERE) 

Whew!!! The Celts and Lakers played 19 times in the finals during the ’80’s. Dukey flew back and forth and met many of the writers and personnel. He was fortunate to go to 14 of the games with many yarns to spin in following years. He liked telling how he had carted CBS Cable around and pretended to be working. He didn’t have a seat but just about everybody was standing for most of the game anyway, and he could sit in an aisle if wanted. 

Meanwhile, back at Pebble Beach, the morons had a peaceful two-hour nap in preparation for the final day of the Open. The eight idiots went to Monterey’s Pebble Beach to watch Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus go at it. Watson was leading. Nicklaus was on a tear three groups ahead of him. Three of the morons pretty much followed Jack around from the inside of the fairway ropes where only the press and players were permitted. Nobody said a thing until the sixteenth tee. They were ordered to get behind the ropes so they did and started moving up to 18 for the big finish. 

In the shuffling mass of humanity the morons somehow split up. Dukey tried climbing trees, light poles, or anything available, but could not get a good glimpse of the eighteenth green so he made his way around all the madness to the ocean shore wall he knew well [CLICK HERE] and climbed down to the rhythm of the crashing waves. Dukey managed to jump from rock to rock without getting too wet and then heard one of golf’s great Historic Roars. Watson chipped in on 17! 

Dukey continued to make his way along the ocean shore wall. He had often seen it on TV. He was about half way down the 18th fairway and high enough to see Watson tee off. As he hit his second shot the moron climbed up to the fairway and found himself in the beach side rough. Well, there was Dukey walking up toward the green with Watson, Bill Rogers , two caddies and the judges. He stood by the trap as Watson birdied. If he had the height of Kareem, he might have caught the ball as Watson threw it over his head into the water. The next day’s replay on ESPN exposed the whole 18th madness with Dukey 

climbing around the ocean wall. [CLICK HERE]